Let’s get one thing straight… I am by no means perfect when it comes to tidiness. There are days when my own mess piles up, and I have to take a deep breath before tackling it. But overall, I love having a clean and organized home. The problem? I don’t live alone. I share my space with family members who don’t always share my standards for tidiness.
If you also find yourself constantly picking up after everyone else or wondering if you’re the only one who cares about a clean house, you’re not alone. Here’s how I’ve learned to (mostly) stay sane while trying to keep a tidy home in the midst of chaos.
1. Accept That Your Standards May Not Be Theirs
I used to think that if I just explained how much better a clean house feels, my family would magically get on board. Spoiler: that didn’t happen. The truth is, not everyone sees mess the same way. While I can’t function with dishes in the sink, others might not even notice them. Rather than expecting everyone to meet my exact standards, I’ve had to accept that compromise is key.
2. Set Clear (and Reasonable) Expectations
I’ve found that when I set clear expectations, like “no dirty dishes left in the sink overnight” or “shoes go in the closet, not the doorway”, there’s less frustration. It’s not about demanding a spotless home but setting small, achievable habits that keep things manageable.
3. Assign Responsibilities (and Stick to Them)
If I do all the cleaning, guess what? No one else feels responsible. I’ve learned to delegate, whether it’s assigning certain chores or having a family “reset” time where everyone pitches in for 10–15 minutes. The key is consistency. If I start letting things slide, so does everyone else. This is something I struggle with because, honestly, I know I can do it better (and faster) myself. But if I don’t let go of that mindset, I’ll end up doing everything, and that’s just not sustainable.
4. Pick Your Battles
Would I love it if every bedroom was spotless? Sure. But is it worth fighting over? Not really. I focus on common areas first, like the kitchen, living room, and bathroom—because that’s where everyone shares space. If my kids’ rooms look like a disaster zone but they can still find what they need, I try (emphasis on try) to let it go.
5. Make It Easier to Clean Up
Sometimes, the mess isn’t because people don’t care… it’s because they don’t know where things go. Simple storage solutions, like labeled bins, baskets, and easy-to-reach shelves, help eliminate excuses. If it takes too much effort to put something away, it’s going to end up on the counter (or the floor).
6. Set a Timer for Quick Cleanups
I don’t expect perfection, but I do expect effort. A simple trick that works? Setting a 10–15 minute timer for a “family reset.” Everyone tackles their own mini messes, and suddenly, the house looks way better without anyone feeling overwhelmed.
7. Lead by Example (Without Becoming the Household Maid)
I try to show, not just tell, why tidiness matters. But I also refuse to be the only one cleaning. If I constantly pick up after everyone, they’ll assume it’s my job. Instead, I make it clear that a clean house is a shared responsibility.
8. Find Humor in the Chaos
Some days, all you can do is laugh. Like when I find random objects in the strangest places or when someone insists they “didn’t see” the laundry pile in the hallway. Instead of losing my mind, I remind myself that one day, I might actually miss these messes. Maybe.
We joke with our kids all the time, telling them that when they have their own place, we can’t wait to come over and leave granola bar wrappers all over their place. It’s our way of making light of the chaos and reminding ourselves that these moments, as crazy as they feel, won’t last forever.
9. Create Your Own Tidy Spaces
If nothing else, I carve out areas that stay mine – whether it’s my office, my nightstand, or one section of the kitchen counter. Even if the rest of the house is a disaster, having a few organized spots helps keep me grounded.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, I’ve realized that keeping a tidy home isn’t just about cleaning, it’s about creating systems that work for everyone in the house. It’s about balance, compromise, and choosing sanity over perfection. And sometimes, it’s about shutting the door to a messy room and pretending it doesn’t exist (at least for today).
